It can be overwhelming going back to work after having a new baby.
There is a lot to think about: how you will manage both roles, parent and professional.
It’s common to feel anxious and guilty about being at work and worrying about who will take care of your baby.
Many working people are finding it difficult to deal with having a working baby.
A recent survey showed that in the United States, 75 per cent of mothers with children under the age of 6 work and more than 90 per cent of fathers with children under the age of 6 work.
This means that most working parents have the same problem.
Fortunately or not, there are ways to soften the blow when you return to work and how to manage your time.
This article will attempt to answer some of the most common questions and share suggestions or strategies to cope with working full-time with a baby.
The suggestions we will be focusing on balancing your job and parenting roles, ensuring that you are in a good state of mind and body while your little one is getting enough love, attention and care.
So, let’s start by looking at some practical ways to deal with your new reality.
Table of Contents
What percentage of mothers work full time?
The 2022 figures show, that more than three-quarters of mothers with children under the age of 6, work full-time.
So, if you are a mother having a career that you are currently struggling with a baby, you are definitely not alone.
Many women before you have successfully managed the two, so it is viable for you.
Indeed, ‘one size doesn’t fit all’ — what’s right for one woman may not be the right path for another.
Sooner or later, you have to figure out what will work for you and your children, and deal with the inevitable adjustments.
Top challenges faced by working moms?
For a new mom juggling a full-time job and a baby, it can seem daunting to deal with this demanding situation.
First thing that you need to do when you feel overwhelmed is to understand that you are not alone.
A lot of working moms are facing the same situation.
Perhaps the most difficult thing for a mom who works is the issue of time.
When a baby comes you already feel like you have no time, and are running out of energy.
So keeping a track of the work on your mind makes you feel like it is impossible.
It becomes important for you to prioritize tasks and plan your day according to your need and family.
Another hurdle is guilt.
Many working mum have guilty feelings about leaving their baby to go back to work.
It’s alright to work and it doesn’t make you a bad mum.
You are earning money to give to your family to feed and clothe your children.
Also, you are making good examples for your child.
A lack of support can also be a problem for a lot of working moms.
Finding good childcare can be difficult, and if your partner or family member is able to pay attention to your children, it can make the world of difference too.
If you don’t have any support, try and get involved in some new parenting groups or online communities about being a working mom.
Lastly, work mums can experience some difficulties in regulating stress.
Facing work deadlines, sleepless nights with your infant, and household chores can leave you frazzled on some days.
Be sure to take some time for yourself on a daily basis – 15 minutes here and there – to rest or take some time out to be alone.
How long should a mother stay-at-home with her baby before working full-time?
There is no set period of time that the mother needs to be with the baby and no set time before she needs to return to work.
Some women will stay at home for several months to bond with their new baby and to get used to their new role as a mother.
Six weeks is standard, but the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists recommends that postpartum care continue through the ‘fourth trimester’, from birth to 12 weeks.
You may be considering going back to work shortly after giving birth.
Take stock of what you might need to do to make sure your baby’s needs are met, such as arranging for childcare with others you trust.
You might prefer to delegate child care to family members or find professional or neighborhood help.
In the end, when to go back to work will be a question of chicken or egg.
Financial pressure and opportunities will matter, but so will the support networks available.
Is it hard to go back to work after having a baby?
For many returning mothers the re-entry into the workforce is an emotionally charged experience.
Many working mothers find themselves experiencing a feeling of having missed out on important developments in their work lives and institutional knowledge.
But keeping up with some steps during your maternity leave can help you embrace this shift better.
Staying in touch via email, video conferencing or in person catch ups with colleagues or through attending seminars/ networking groups even when you are on leave can help you staying connected with your employer.
The only thing that can help you is time – and being kind to yourself.
Don’t expect to hit the ground running straight away, because there is likely to be a period of adjustment for both you and your baby.
Start getting into patterns before the day you return to work.
You might also want to think about changing other aspects of your life that could free up time and energy (perhaps employing some extra help around the house).
Does working full-time affect my child?
For a working mother, one of her main concerns must be whether or not her return to work will affect her children.
Fortunately, numerous studies have found that most children adapt well to their mother’s return to work, especially if they have good childcare facilities or family members caring for them.
You can also help alleviate any anxiety by finding childcare that matches your style so that you can feel comfortable having someone else watch your child.
If possible, get involved, pick up or drop off your child, or check in throughout the day via telephone or text.
Will my baby know me if I work full time?
A question many new working mothers ask is: When I come home to my baby after the long workday, will she still recognize me?
Yes, because babies start to recognize familiar faces from only a few weeks old.
However, I do want to end on a positive note: bonding with a new baby requires effort and time, regardless of whether you work full-time or stay at home.
Try to make the most of the hours you spend together, by making them quality interactions as often as possible – cuddling before bedtime, having meals as a family on weekends, for example.
You also need to give yourself a break and not put too much pressure on your relationship with your child from the beginning.
There is no one ‘right’ way to bond with your baby and every parent-child relationship is different.
Do babies miss their mom when they go back to work?
The thought of returning to work and leaving behind their little baby gives many new mothers pause.
How can you leave your baby behind, worrying that your baby is sad because you left or that he has been abandoned – a thought that can stress you out tremendously?
Whether your child is an infant, toddler, preschooler or older, the same feelings will arise: what will happen to my child while I am not there?
What will my child be like when I come home? Will my child be able to handle the separation from me?
We often think that all babies are alike and that all children will react to a parent leaving the same way.
Truth is, there are infants who will really struggle with separation anxiety or having to do something ‘out of the ordinary’, and there are children who are so ready to move on and discover the world that they won’t even notice you’re gone.
One of the best ways to calm your own mind about all the ‘abandonment’ that comes with being away from baby is to remain plugged in as much as possible throughout the day.
As long as schedules allow for it, set up a couple of times a day for video calls and/or send pictures via text messaging as a way for you to be included in daily events, and for your baby to know that mom is still around somewhere, even if for now she’s behind a computer.
And another proactive separation management strategy is finding a good childcare provider that will take good care of your baby when you’re not at home.
Research your options so that you have knowledge of someone who has experience working with infants and young children, and has good references from other parents.
Can I be a good mom and work full-time?
Indeed you are and I don’t think it’s as tough as it’s made out to be.
While parenting can be very trying at times, being a working mum has a lot of pleasure.
Research indicates that children of working mothers actually do well in many ways, e.g., by being more independent, more socially competent and academically more successful.
The main skill in being a working mum is splitting your life into two: the work-life and the home-life.
The best way you can achieve this is by protecting your family-time outside of work hours so that you can spend time for yourself and your family.
It is important to delegate tasks to other people or seek help because this will make your life easier so that you won’t be so stressed.
Self-care – for example, creating and sticking to regular workout patterns, good eating habits and sleep – is another crucial factor.
When you feel like you are doing well in your life, with your boundaries intact, you will have more energy to deal with your career and your children.
With optimism, determination and flexibility, you too can craft a life of meaning that meets your needs as well as those of your growing family.
Stay-at-home mom vs Working mom
On many of these parenting blogs or forums, one of the most discussed and debated topic is whether or not working or not working as a mom is better.
There are reasons for and against for this situation, in the end it depends on preferences of the mom, her priorities and financial situation.
While a stay-at-home mother might be able to spend maximum time around her baby during the important early years, there is also no school concert, doctor’s appointment or anything else that she has to fit in around a work schedule.
The downside is that staying home full-time all the time might be lonely, limiting (in terms of finances) and emotionally challenging.
Unlike the working mom, who gains career fulfillment, financial independence, and social connections with colleagues while providing for her family, the stay-at-home mom devotes her full-time attention to only two people.
She is tied to the kitchen, always playing the role of the mother figure.
Even though babysitters and daycare providers are available, the stay-at-home mom seems to have less time for herself than her working counterpart.
Although the stay-at-home mom might be more involved in their children’s lives than the working mom, some working moms find that they thrive in both worlds and enjoy their jobs and time with their kids.
I think there’s no right or wrong either mum stays at home or works as it’s all about the child’s needs I believe are fullfed from all sides.
Why it’s ok to be a working mom?
It is often said that when mothers do not stay at home to take care of their children full-time but decide to work outside, they are now such less dedicated mums.
However, this is not right at all.
Most working mums have no choice but to work because they are financially burdened or because they have their own personal ambitions.
Being an employee, in spite of being a parent will teach the kids lifelong skills that one should balance his/her professional obligations with family responsibilities.
Benefits from work life balance : The children will learn the responsibility towards the society in the long term.
He/she learns this through you – the parent – setting an experience by balancing home and a job, as well as contributing to the growth of the economy.
Moreover, working mothers role-model their daughters (and sons) that women can work and raise families at the same time.
Secondly, experience of working help mothers in enhancing their skills, which they could use to contribute their personal development when they are on break, if any.
Do kids benefit from having a working mom?
Studies found out that children of working mothers are more independent, self-reliant, confident, and adaptive to new places and people compared to children of stay-at-home-moms.
Having to venture in new places and socializing with new people, the child learns social skills, is forced to be more independent, and learn to manage time better by taking responsibility for themselves.
It also has a time-saving effect on working mothers, who tend to front-load childcare time and prioritise activities of pressing importance for their children, i.e. less fiddling about.
Secondly there are other advantages to having a working mom.
Kids can learn more about different kinds of culture, idea’s and working style’s just by seeing their parents which also helps them in their future learning than only teaching them at home.
Seeing how their mother balances their work and family time can also help children learn this quality in themselves.
What is working mom burnout and how to cope with it?
You might be a working mom who doesn’t stop all day, rushing from one task to another without any breaks in between.
Burnout, or emotional exhaustion and physical fatigue, has serious effects on your mental health and wellbeing.
Symptoms of burnout include a loss of motivation or sense of accomplishment, overwhelmed, irritability, anxiety or depression, and difficulty concentrating.
Coping with burnout includes taking care of your physical and mental health.
Self-care – getting sufficient sleep, practicing exercise and healthy eating, spending time on pastimes that bring you joy – can help you avoid burnout.
Setting and maintaining boundaries between work and home – including realistic expectations of yourself and the communication of those expectations to those with whom you work – can also help.
Another coping strategy might be to ask your family members or friends to relieve you of some of the burden of fulltime parenting.
A therapist or counsellor could also help you to learn to deal with stress more responsibly.
We suggest you don’t forget yourself looking after your children and your work.
In other words, it’s important to take care of your own mind and body so not to get sick and soon be back to normal.
Are Working Moms Happier?
Women often ask whether life’s happy camper is the working mom over the stay-at-home mom.
Since everyone’s experience with parental duties is different, and what works for one mom might not necessarily work for another, there is no clear-cut answer for all women on which choice will generate more happiness.
However, career-based parenting is not entirely without its benefits.
Working mothers report higher self-esteem than stay-at-home moms, because being employed means having goals outside of the parent role.
Mothers who work outside of the home also tend to have larger social networks than stay-at-home moms, because of daily contact with colleagues or clients.
Being employed allows for more financial stability for many families, thus reducing some of the financial stress and anxieties that may come as a result of having a child to care for.
Last but not least, having a working mum often provides an additional example for children to look up to.
Conclusion
In sum, to be a working mother is a special thing.
It might not be the best thing in the world, but with the right approach, work and home can be in harmony with each other.
Don’t forget to do a self-care routine like sleep, exercise or meditation which will help you to be more productive and also reduce tension, which can lead to lack of time with your child.
It is possible to work full-time and have a young baby, but it requires patience, flexibility and determination – and with these simple steps it can be done both emotionally and logistically.
